As we age, we realize that most of our past beliefs are not true. The bad guy we wanted to fix will never change. The once best friend, with whom they swore eternal friendship, has become a stranger. Life is not at all like what we imagined it to be. How to cope with a sudden change in life orientations?
With the approach of the thirtieth anniversary, we are entering a new life period: a reassessment of values begins, an awareness of true age. Some people have the feeling that they have lived wrong all the time. Such thoughts are the norm and not a reason to despair.
Theory of seven-year cycles
In the last century, psychologists conducted a study, they analyzed the problems of generations, comparing the experiences of people at the same age. The result was a theory of seven-year cycles.
During our lives, each of us goes through many such cycles: from birth to 7 years, from 7 to 14, from 14 to 21, and so on. A person looks back at the past years and evaluates them. The first most conscious cycle — from 21 to 28 years — smoothly flows into the next — from 28 to 35 years.
During these periods, a person already has an idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbthe family and the desire to build it, the desire to realize himself in the profession and declare himself as a successful person.
He is fixed in society, accepts its framework and shares the beliefs that it dictates.
If the cycles run smoothly, the crisis will pass and the person has nothing to worry about. But if it is painful, dissatisfaction with oneself, the environment and life in general grows. You can transform your perception of the world. And the period between two conscious cycles is a great opportunity for this.
How to survive the crisis?
You can, of course, strive for perfection, but often it is illusory and vague. It is better to turn to yourself, your feelings and ask yourself questions at the level of “have, do and be”:
What are my goals in life?
Ez bi rastî çi dixwazim?
Who do I want to be in a year? And in 10 years?
Ez dixwazim li ku bim?
If a person cannot answer these questions, then there is a need to know and accept himself, turn to his own desires and move away from the beliefs of other people. A special exercise will help in this.
Tetbîqatek
Get into a comfortable position and try to relax. You must answer the following questions in writing:
What do you believe now?
What did your parents and other important people from your childhood believe in?
Have you made any attempts to change your life?
Do you feel that it is possible in principle to fulfill your desires in adult life?
How long do you deserve what you want?
When answering, listen to your body — it is the main clue: if the goal or desire is alien to you, the body will give out clamps and feel discomfort.
Netîce
After completing the exercise, you will receive a set of beliefs that you inherited from loved ones, and you will be able to separate them from your own. At the same time, identify the internal limitations in your life.
You need to work with them and replace them with positive attitudes: “I can do it. The main thing is not to hesitate and move in the given direction. What exactly will I do tomorrow? And in a week?
Make a plan on paper and follow it. Mark each completed action with a bold plus. This will help you move forward. A confidential dialogue with your «I» will allow you to go on an inner journey of innermost desires. For some, this is new and unusual, while others are afraid to admit their true aspirations. But it works.
Everyone can discover new facets in themselves through internal attitudes, analysis of desires and their division into their own and others. Then comes the understanding that everyone creates his own life.