Contents
Authority: Instructions for Dads
To promote the development and construction of your child, it is first of all important to offer him a stable, loving and secure environment. Playing with him, showing him attention, spending time with him, cultivating your child’s confidence and self-esteem, that is the “daddy friend” side. In this way, your child will learn to be assertive, respecting himself and others. A child who has a good self-image will find it easier to develop an open mind, empathy, attention to others, especially other children. Before being able to assert yourself, you must also know yourself well and accept yourself as you are, with your abilities, weaknesses and faults. You must encourage the expression of his emotions and the manifestation of his tastes. You must also let him have his own experiences by stimulating his curiosity, his thirst for discovery, to teach him to be enterprising within reasonable limits, but also to teach him to accept his mistakes and his weaknesses.
Authority: establish reasonable and consistent limits
At the same time, it is necessary to focus reasonable and coherent limits by being constant and firm on certain indisputable principles, in particular with regard to safety (staying on the sidewalk), politeness (saying hello, goodbye, thank you), hygiene (washing hands before eating or after going to the toilet), rules of life in society (do not type). It’s the “bossy daddy” side. Today, education is not as strict as it was a generation or two ago, but excessive permissiveness has shown its limits, and it is increasingly criticized. We must therefore find a happy medium. Putting down the prohibitions, clearly stating what is good or bad, gives your child benchmarks and allows him to build himself. Parents who are afraid of being too strict or who do not deny their child anything, for convenience or because they are not very available, do not make their children happier.
Authority: 10 useful tips to help you every day
Use your energy to enforce what is really important to you (give your hand to cross, say thank you) and don’t be so intransigent about the rest (eating with your fingers, for example). If you are too demanding, you risk completely discouraging your child who can devalue himself by feeling unable to satisfy you.
Always explain the rules to your child. What makes the difference between old-fashioned authoritarianism and necessary discipline is that the rules can be explained to the child and understood. Take the time to explain, in simple words, the rules and limits with the logical consequences of each action. For example: “If you don’t take your bath now, it will have to be done later, just before bedtime and we won’t have time to read a story.” “If you don’t reach out to cross the road, a car might hit you.” I wouldn’t want any harm to happen to you because I love you very much. “If you take the toys out of this little girl’s hands, she’ll never want to play with you again.” “
Learn to compromise too : “OK, you are not putting your toys away now, but you will have to do it before going to bed. Today’s children give their opinion, try to negotiate. They need to be taken into account, but it is of course up to parents to set the framework and decide as a last resort.
Bisekine. That the child transgresses, it is normal: he tests his parents. By disobeying, he verifies that the frame is there. If the parents react firmly, things will return to normal.
Respect the word given to your child : what is said must be held, whether it is a reward or a deprivation.
Divert his attention, offer him another activity, another distraction when he persists in provoking at the risk of stepping or pointing you into a sterile blockage.
Praise and encourage him when he acts according to your rules of conduct, showing him your approval. This will strengthen their self-esteem, which will allow them to better cope with other moments of disillusionment or frustration.
Encourage meetings with other children of his age. It’s a good way to develop your sociability, but also to show him that other children, too, must follow rules laid down by their parents.
Bi sebir bin, be constant but also indulgent remembering that you too were a stubborn, even stubborn child. Finally, be convinced that you are doing your best and remember that your child is well aware of the love you have for them.
Testimonials
“At home, we share authority, each in their own way. I’m not a dictator, but yes, I can be authoritative. when you need to raise your voice or put it on the corner, I do it. I am not at all in limitless tolerance. on this point, I am still from the old school. ” Florian, father of Ettan, 5 years old, and Emmie, 1 year old