Unshaven legs, folds and stretch marks… Bodypositive is associated by many with an exclusively repulsive picture. But why does all this seem unattractive to us at all? What are we afraid of when we condemn the very idea of movement? Why do we think that conforming to other people’s ideals is better than following our own ideas of beauty?
Why do we need body positivity?
I think it’s important to start by clarifying what body positivity as a movement actually does. And for this, let’s go back a step and consider the problem that became the starting point for its appearance.
The main problem for many of us is that our negative attitude towards our own body and its «shortcomings» takes away our vital resources: energy, time, money.
We fixate on issues over which we have much less control than is commonly believed. Moreover, the correction of bodily “shortcomings” is a rather unprofitable investment, if we draw analogies with business. We are offered to invest everything we have in a rather risky venture. We can influence its results only indirectly. And no one gives any guarantees, especially in the long term, that we will get and keep what we dream about.
And the main idea of body positivity is that you don’t have to invest in a “venture fund” of appearance: we have many other projects to invest in. Body positivity helps people survive in society when their bodies don’t meet «standards». To survive in the hatred that falls on them from the outside. And deal with the one that presses on them from the inside.
We have much less control over the body than the media is trying to tell us.
Body positivity gives us the tools to deal with the inner critic, which is often nurtured in women from childhood. As a reader of my telegram channel wisely put it: “The first half of your life they tell you what’s wrong with you, and the second half they try to sell funds that will help fix it.” As for “indulgence” and “fat propaganda”, which are often blamed on body positivity, these phrases themselves, it seems to me, resemble some outdated parenting formulas like “you can spoil a child with love and attention.”
First, a person cannot be “spoiled” by offering him a resource. Secondly, body positivity is the promotion of a mentally healthy lifestyle. And thirdly, again, we have much less control over the body than the media is trying to tell us with their headlines like “How to reduce ankles in 5 days.” The body is not a dress that can be quickly changed if it is not fashionable this season. It is included in our «I». The body is part of our self-structure, not an object that we can manipulate as we please.
Very feminine things
It is important to note that the body-positive movement originates in the ideas and issues of feminism and today continues to be an important part of its agenda. In any forum, in any magazine, the topic of food and body will be almost exclusively female: 98% of people who care about related issues are women.
What is traditionally included in the men’s agenda? Traveling around the world, business, career, literature, business, creativity, creation. And what is on the women’s agenda? «First clean yourself up, whatever that means, and then, Cinderella, you can go to the ball.»
By focusing and locking women’s attention on the topic of changing themselves, they are deprived of the opportunity to somehow influence the world. When we say that feminism is no longer needed, it is outdated and now we all have equal rights — it’s worth looking at the statistics. How many men and how many women are involved in the beauty industry and body-nutrition anxieties? We will immediately see a huge disproportion.
In a patriarchal system, a woman is an object. The object has certain qualities and useful functions. If you are a thing, an object that should always have a “presentation”, then you become someone who can be manipulated. This is how the «culture of violence» is born, and it rests on this postulate.
For example, I recently came across an article* with horrendous figures on the number of underage children sold into sexual slavery. And 99% of them are girls. Even 1% of the boys in this traffic are obviously not meant for women. If we say that gender does not matter in such crimes, then who are those who pay for the “right” to rape these children? Is it likely that it could be a person of any gender? Is it possible to imagine a woman who buys such a “service” and returns home to her family as if nothing had happened?
Fear, guilt, self-doubt — this is the prison in which women are imprisoned by anxieties about the body and their value.
Society has long and persistently fought against female sexuality and its slightest manifestations, however, the male “right to sex” has been equated almost to the level of a basic need. The main front in the fight against female sexuality is the body**. On the one hand, he is required to be sexy—that is, to demonstrate sexuality to attract men.
On the other hand, the practices that are proposed to be used to achieve this goal (restrictions, diets, plastic surgery, painful beauty procedures, uncomfortable shoes and clothes) do not at all contribute to the sensations of bodily sexuality by the woman herself. This is well illustrated by the messages of women in various forums: «My husband said that I need to lose weight, he doesn’t want me anymore.» Or: «I’m afraid that no one will like me» and so on. In the saddest versions: “What painkillers to drink when everything hurts after childbirth, and the husband demands sex.”
Fear, guilt, self-doubt — this is the prison in which women are imprisoned by anxieties about the body and their value only through the body. There are thousands and millions of them — those who are really in this trap. According to American statistics, 53% of thirteen-year-old girls are dissatisfied with their bodies, and by the age of 17 they already become 78%. And, of course, this poses huge risks for the development of eating disorders***.
Why body positivity causes anger
Perhaps there is a lot of fear in the aggression that falls on body positivity. It’s scary to lose what you’ve invested in for so long. A stormy protest is caused by such a simple, it seems, idea: let’s respect each other regardless of appearance. Let’s not let go of offensive words and do not use the size, dimensions of the body as insults. After all, the word «fat» has become an insult to women. A fat tree is just a definition, and a fat cat is generally cute, even a fat man can still sound like “solid” sometimes.
But if the body ceases to be a marker of superiority, if we can no longer be proud that we are thinner, then how can we feel better by comparing ourselves to others?
Orientations have changed. And perhaps you should not look for those who are worse or better. Perhaps it’s time to look inward and figure out what else is interesting for us, besides the figure, appearance?
In this sense, body positivity gives us a new freedom — the freedom of self-development, self-improvement. He gives us the opportunity to finally stop losing weight, make up, dress for someone and for someone, and finally do something really interesting — travel, work, creativity. For myself and for myself.
* https://now.org/now-foundation/love-your-body/love-your-body-whats-it-all-about/get-the-facts/
** Body, food, sex and anxiety. What worries the modern woman. Clinical psychologist research. Lapina Julia. Alpina non-fiction, 2020
*** https://mediautopia.ru/story/obeshhanie-luchshej-zhizni-kak-deti-popadayut-v-seks-rabstvo/