Contents
- He eats very slowly
- In video: The meals are complicated: Margaux Michielis, psychologist and trainer in Faber & Mazlish workshop gives solutions to support children without forcing them.
- He refuses vegetables
- He only wants mash
- He sorts and separates the food
- He eats well at other people’s homes and not at home
- He doesn’t want any more milk
- He doesn’t want to eat on his own
- He nibbles all day and doesn’t eat anything at the table
- He wants to play while eating
- He compares his plate to that of his brother
He eats very slowly
Why ? ” The notion of time is quite relative. Especially for children. And their perception of it is very different from ours, ”explains Dr Arnault Pfersdorff *. Clearly, we find that it takes three hours to chew three broccoli but in fact, for him, it is his rhythm. Also, that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not hungry. But he may still be thinking about the game he was playing just before we interrupted him to go to the table. Besides, he may also be tired and eating may take too much effort.
Çareserî. We establish benchmarks in time to announce the moment of the meal: put away the toys, wash your hands, set the table… Why not also sing a little song to wish you a good appetite. And then, we take it upon ourselves … In the absence of any physical problem that would prevent him from chewing properly (tongue frenulum not detected at birth for example), we put things into perspective and we tell ourselves that by taking the time to do well chew, it will digest better.
In video: The meals are complicated: Margaux Michielis, psychologist and trainer in Faber & Mazlish workshop gives solutions to support children without forcing them.
He refuses vegetables
Çima ? Before leaving the label of “neophobia” which is an almost inevitable stage of refusal of certain foods, and which appears around 18 months and can last for several years. We’re trying to sort things out. Already, perhaps in the family, we are not really a fan of vegetables. And since children imitate adults, they won’t want to eat it either. It is also true that boiled vegetables, well, it is frankly not folichon. And then, maybe he just doesn’t like certain vegetables right now.
Çareserî. We are reassured, nothing is ever frozen. Maybe in a while he will enjoy the vegetables. While waiting for the blessed day when he will eat his cauliflower with appetite, he is offered vegetables at each meal, varying the recipes and the presentation. We enhance their taste with spices and aromatics. We offer to help us cook them. We also play on the colors to make them appetizing. And, we do not serve too large quantities or we offer to help himself.
Refusal is necessary!
Saying no and choosing is part of building a child’s identity. His refusals often concern food. Especially since we, as parents, tend to overinvest in food. So we take it upon ourselves, without coming into conflict. And we pass the baton before cracking.
He only wants mash
Çima ? We are often afraid to start giving more consistent pieces to babies. Suddenly, their introduction is delayed a little too much, which can lead to more difficulties later in accepting anything other than purees. “We may also have tried to” hide “small pieces in a smooth puree and the baby was surprised by this hard texture and he could not appreciate”, adds the specialist.
Çareserî. We do not take too long to introduce the pieces. With classic diversification, we first give very smooth purees. Then gradually, it is offered more granular textures to melting pieces when it is ready. “To facilitate the acceptance of the pieces, we present them apart from the mash so that he can see and touch them before bringing them to his mouth,” he advises. We can also take advantage of family meals to let them give us a few bites. Toddlers like to feed their parents. He sees us chewing and by imitation, he will want to be like us.
He sorts and separates the food
Çima ? Up to 2 years old, it is very common because for a toddler, eating is an opportunity to make lots of discoveries. And his plate is a great field of exploration: he compares shapes, colors… In short, he’s having fun.
Çareserî. We remain calm so as not to create a blockage where it is quite simply a phase of discovery. You can also present your food in a plate with compartments so that everything is not mixed up. But from 2-3 years old, he is taught not to play with food. And that there are rules of good conduct at the table.
When he is tired or sick, we adapt his meal
If he is tired or sick, it is better to offer him simpler textures such as soups or mashed potatoes. This is not a step backwards but a one-off solution.
He eats well at other people’s homes and not at home
Çima ? Yes, we have all understood that it is better at granny’s or with friends. In fact, it is especially that “outside, there is less interference with food, specifies Dr. Arnault Pfersdorff. Already, there is no emotional bond between parent and child, and suddenly there may be less pressure. In addition, there is an effect of emulation and imitation when he eats with other children. Besides, the food is also different from what he eats every day. “
Çareserî. We do not feel guilty and we take advantage of this situation. For example, if he is reluctant to eat vegetables or pieces when he is at home, we ask Grandma to offer him some at her place. It can pass nickel. And why not invite a boyfriend to eat with us (we prefer a good eater). This can motivate him during the meal.
He doesn’t want any more milk
Çima ? Some toddlers will get bored of their milk more or less quickly. Some around 12-18 months. Others, later, around 3-4 years old. The refusal can be transitory and be linked, for example, to the famous “no” period. Exhausting for parents but necessary for children… Or, he may also no longer like the taste of milk.
Çareserî. “It will be necessary to adapt to his age to provide him with a balanced diet, because milk (especially infant formulas) is a good source of calcium, iron, essential fatty acids…”, he notes. To make him want to drink it, we can serve the milk in a cup or feed him through a straw. You can also add a little cocoa or cereals. For older children, we can vary the dairy products by offering instead, cheeses, yogurts …
He doesn’t want to eat on his own
Çima ? Perhaps he was not given enough autonomy at the table. Because it’s faster to feed him than to let him get lost. And then like that, he puts less everywhere. But also, eating a meal alone is a huge marathon that requires a lot of energy. And it’s complicated for a toddler to fend for himself too soon.
Çareserî. We empower him early by offering him a spoon at each meal. He is free to use it or not. We also let him discover the food with his fingers. From 2 years old, it is possible to go to cutlery with an iron tip. For a good grip, the handle should be short and wide enough. We also accept that the meal takes a little longer. And we wait, because it is only between 4 and 6 years old that a child gradually acquires the endurance to eat the whole meal without help.
He nibbles all day and doesn’t eat anything at the table
Çima ? “Often a child nibbles because he sees his parents doing it. Or because fearing that he has not eaten enough at the meal and we are tempted to give him supplements outside, ”notes Arnault Pfersdorff. In addition, the foods preferred for snacking are more attractive (chips, cookies, etc.) than those served at the table, vegetables in particular.
Çareserî. We are already setting an example by stopping snacking. We also set up four meals a day. And that’s all. If a child has eaten less at mealtime, he will catch up with the next. We limit temptations by buying less or no ultra-processed products and reserving them for special occasions.
He wants to play while eating
Çima ? Maybe the meal is taking too long for him and he’s bored. Perhaps he is also in an active phase of exploring his environment and everything becomes a pretext for discovery and play, including meal time. Afterwards, it is not necessarily a game, because the fact of touching the food allows the youngest to appropriate it. This is very important so that they accept to eat it.
Çareserî. To be adapted according to age. We let him explore with his fingers on the condition of not putting it everywhere and not doing anything. Cutlery adapted to his age is made available to him. And then, we also remind him that we do not play while eating and gradually, he will integrate his rules of good conduct at the table.
Moving on to the pieces, is it ready?
No need to wait until the baby has a lot of teeth. Or just hit 8 months. He can crush soft food with his gums because the jaw muscles are very strong. But a few conditions: he must be quite stable when he is seated. He must be able to turn his head to the right and to the left without his whole body turning, he alone carries the objects and the food to his mouth and of course that he is attracted by the pieces, in clear, it is that he wants to come and bite into your plate.
He compares his plate to that of his brother
Çima ? « It is inevitable in a sibling to see if his brother or sister has more things than himself. Including at the level of food. But these comparisons concern, in fact, a question of another order than that of the food ”, notes the pediatrician.
Çareserî. As parents, we can do everything we can to be egalitarian, we can not be it every time. It is therefore super important to hear the message that the child sends us so that the feeling of injustice does not set in. You get rid of the situation by explaining, for example, that your brother is taller and that he needs more. Or that everyone has their own tastes and that they prefer to eat more of this or that food.