The development of technology affects the sexual life, providing previously unthinkable opportunities. For example, send each other messages and photos of an intimate nature. There is even a separate name for this phenomenon — sexting. What motivates women to do this and what are the motives of men?
Sexting is a universal thing: both Jeff Bezos (entrepreneur, head of Amazon. — Approx. ed.), Rihanna, and young people are engaged in it, albeit to a lesser extent than one might assume, if you believe the headlines in the media. And there is no simple answer to the question why we do this.
However, this does not mean that the question itself should not be asked. In a recent study, sociologist Morgan Johnstonbach of the University of Arizona asked young respondents — 1000 students from seven colleges — what initially drives them to send sexual messages, and wondered if the motivations of men and women differ. She was able to identify two main reasons that motivate partners to send their semi-nude pictures: the response to the request of the recipient and the desire to increase their own self-esteem.
The most common reason — to have a recipient — was the same for both women (73%) and men (67%). In addition, 40% of respondents of both sexes admitted to sending such photos in order to satisfy the request of a partner. The last conclusion surprised the researcher: “It turns out that women also ask partners for this, and they meet them halfway.”
However, women are 4 times more likely than men to send their photos to them so that they do not lose interest in them and start looking at pictures of other women. This is proof that there is still a double standard in society, the sociologist is sure: “I studied a lot of literature related to relationships and the intimate sphere, and I expected that there would be more pressure on women in this regard: they feel compelled to send such messages” .
But, as in other issues related to sex in one way or another, the relationship of women with sexting is quite complex and does not fit into the “he asked — I sent” scheme. Johnstonbach found that women are 4 times more likely than men to send such messages to gain confidence in themselves, and 2 times more often to boost their self-esteem. In addition, sex therapists note that women are turned on by the realization that they are desired.
Society limits men to masculinity, and they do not consider it possible to express themselves in this way.
“The exchange of such messages creates a space in which a woman can safely express her sexuality and explore her own body,” the sociologist explains. So, perhaps the game is worth the candle, although the stakes are high here: there is always a risk that such photos will be seen by those for whose eyes they were not intended. There are many such cases, and, as a rule, it is women who become the victims.
That is, on the one hand, by sending such messages, women really become more confident in themselves, on the other hand, they often believe that they simply have to do it. “In order to get my ex to respond to previous messages or just talk to me, I had to send him “dirty” messages after him,” recalls 23-year-old Anna. — Actually, that’s why he became the former. But, on the other hand, the surge of interest on his part, of course, was pleasant to me.
Women note that when asking to send «naked» pictures, men often do not understand what level of trust is required for this. At the same time, men themselves are often surprised to hear a similar request. So, 22-year-old Max admits that he never sent girls his photos in a half-naked form and does not consider it necessary to do this.
“In the dating market, men and women have different “assets”. A guy can brag about his income or act too masculine — it is believed that this increases our chances and makes us more attractive in the eyes of girls. Girls are different.»
On the one hand, men are in an obvious plus — they are not subjected to such pressure as women. On the other hand, it seems that the joys of sexting are also available to them to a lesser extent. Why, even after sending intimate photos, do men not feel the same surge of self-confidence as women? Johnstonbach is going to search for an answer to this question in the future.
«Perhaps it’s because society limits men to masculinity and they don’t think it’s possible to express themselves in that way,» she suggests. Whatever the case, the next time you’re about to send someone a semi-nude photo of yourself, slow down and think about why you’re doing it.