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Why do we need a school

Tanya Solovieva went to school at the age of seven. Her mother, Natalya, was convinced that despite the diagnosis of spina bifida and numerous operations on her feet and spine, her daughter should study with other children.

As an educational psychologist, Natalia knew that home schooling could lead to social isolation and lack of communication skills in a child. She observed children at home schooling and saw How long they do not get: interaction experience, various activities, the opportunity to prove themselves, the struggle with failures and mistakes.

“The main disadvantage of learning at home is the impossibility of a full-fledged socialization of the child,” says Anton Anpilov, a practicing psychologist, a leading specialist of the Spina Bifida Foundation. — Socialization provides an opportunity to communicate. A person with undeveloped communication skills is poorly oriented in relationships and feelings, misinterprets the behavior of other people, or simply ignores verbal and non-verbal signs from interlocutors. A low level of socialization in childhood will lead to isolation in adulthood, which has a detrimental effect on the human psyche.” 

It is important to understand that a child does not need a school to get a good education. The school primarily teaches the ability to learn: learning strategies, time management, acceptance of mistakes, concentration. Learning is the experience of overcoming obstacles, not the acquisition of new knowledge. And it is because of this that children become more independent.

Thus, the school shapes the future of children. At school, they gain communication experience, plan their work, learn how to properly manage resources, build relationships, and most importantly, become self-confident.

Home is best?

Tanya knows from her own experience what disadvantages homeschooling has. After the operations, Tanya could not stand or sit, she could only lie down, and she had to stay at home. So, for example, the girl could not go to first grade right away. In August of that year, her foot swelled — another relapse, a swelling of the calcaneus. Treatment and recovery lasted for the entire academic year.

They didn’t even want to let Tanya go to the school line on September 1, but Natalya managed to persuade the doctor. After the line, Tanya immediately returned to the ward. Then she was transferred to another hospital, then to a third. In October, Tanya underwent an examination in Moscow, and in November she was operated on and put in a cast on her leg for six months. All this time she was homeschooled. Only in winter could the girl attend classes in the classroom, when her mother would take her to school on a sled through the snow.

Homeschooling takes place in the afternoon, and by that time the teachers arrive tired after the lessons. And it happens that the teacher does not come at all — because of pedagogical advice and other events.

All this affected the quality of Tanya’s education. When the girl was in elementary school, it was easier because she was attended by one teacher and taught all the subjects. During Tanya’s high school education, the situation worsened. Only a teacher of Russian language and literature, as well as a mathematics teacher, came home. The rest of the teachers tried to get away with 15-minute «lessons» on Skype.

All this made Tanya want to return to school at the first opportunity. She missed her teachers, her class teacher, her classmates. But most of all, she missed the opportunity to communicate with peers, take part in extracurricular activities, be part of a team.

Preparation for school

At preschool age, Tanya was diagnosed with a delay in speech development. After visiting a number of specialists, Natalya was told that Tanya would not be able to study at a regular school. But the woman decided to give her daughter maximum opportunities for development.

In those years, there were no educational games and materials for children with disabilities and their parents in free access. Therefore, Natalia, being a teacher-psychologist, herself invented methods of preparing for school for Tanya. She also took her daughter to the early development group at the center for additional education. Tanya was not taken to kindergarten because of her illness.

According to Anton Anpilov, socialization should begin as early as possible: “While a child is small, his picture of the world is formed. It is necessary to “train on cats”, namely to visit playgrounds and kindergartens, various circles and courses, so that the child is ready for school. During communication with other children, the child will learn to see his strengths and weaknesses, to participate in various scenarios of human interaction (play, friendship, conflict). The more experience a child gets at preschool age, the easier it will be for him to adapt to school life.”

Athlete, excellent student, beauty

Natalia’s efforts were crowned with success. At school, Tanya immediately became an excellent student and the best student in the class. However, when the girl got an A, her mother always doubted, she thought that the teachers “draw” the grades, because they feel sorry for Tanya. But Tanya continued to make progress in her studies, and especially in learning languages. Her favorite subjects were Russian, literature and English.

In addition to studying, Tanya took part in extracurricular activities — hiking, trips to other cities, in various competitions, in school events and in KVN. As a teenager, Tanya signed up for vocals, and also took up badminton.

Despite the health restrictions, Tanya always played at full strength and participated in parabadminton competitions in the «moving» category. But once, due to Tanino’s plastered leg, participation in the Russian championship in parabadminton was in jeopardy. Tanya had to urgently master the sports wheelchair. As a result, she took part in the championship among adults and even received a bronze medal in the wheelchair doubles category. 

Natalya supported her daughter in everything and often told her: “To live actively is interesting.” It was Natalya who brought Tanya to the theater so that she could take part in one project. His idea was that children without health restrictions and children with disabilities would perform on stage. Then Tanya did not want to go, but Natalya insisted. As a result, the girl liked playing in the theater so much that she began to attend a theater studio. Playing on stage has become Tanya’s main dream.

Together with Natalia, Tanya came to the All-Russian Society of the Disabled. Natalya wanted Tanya to communicate with other children with disabilities there, go to classes. But Tanya, having completed the video editing course, soon became a full-fledged member of the team.

Thanks to her efforts, Tanya became the winner of the municipal stage of the «Student of the Year-2016» competition, as well as the winner of the championship and prize-winner of the Russian badminton championship among people with PAD. The success of her daughter spurred Natalia on as well — she won first place in the regional stage of the competition «Educator-Psychologist of Russia — 2016».

«Accessible Environment» is not always available

However, Tanya also had difficulties with studying at school. First, it was not always easy to get to school. Secondly, Tanya’s school was in an old building built in the 50s, and there was no «accessible environment» there. Fortunately, Natalya worked there and was able to help her daughter move around the school. Natalya admits: “If I worked elsewhere, I would have to quit, because Tanya needs constant support.” 

Although five years have passed since the adoption of the “accessible environment” law, many schools are still not adapted for the education of children with disabilities. The lack of ramps, lifts and elevators, toilets not equipped for the disabled greatly complicate the learning process for children with disabilities and their parents. Even the presence of a tutor in schools is a rarity due to low salaries. Only large educational institutions from big cities have the resources to create and maintain a full-fledged «accessible environment».

Anton Anpilov: “Unfortunately, the law on the accessibility of schools for children with disabilities still needs to be adjusted based on existing experience. It is necessary to draw conclusions and work on the mistakes. This situation is hopeless for many parents, they simply have nowhere to go — it seems that a child with disabilities needs to be taken to school, but there is no “accessible environment”. It’s getting out of hand.» 

The problem of the lack of an “accessible environment” in schools can be solved through the active participation of parents who will propose laws and amendments, promote them in the media, and organize public discussions, the psychologist is sure.

Bêguman

Bullying in school is a serious problem faced by many children. Anything can become the reason for the hostility of classmates — a different nationality, unusual behavior, fullness, stuttering … People with disabilities also often face bullying, as their «otherness» to ordinary people immediately catches the eye. 

However, Tanya was lucky. She felt comfortable at school, the teachers treated her with understanding, respect and love. Although not all classmates liked her, they did not show open aggression and hostility. It was the merit of the class teacher and school management.

“Tanya was disliked for several reasons,” says Natalya. — Firstly, she was an excellent student, and children, as a rule, have a negative attitude towards “nerds”. In addition, she had special privileges. For example, in our school, in the first month of summer, children must work in the front garden — dig, plant, water, care for. Tanya was exempted from this for health reasons, and some children were indignant. Natalya believes that if Tanya moved in a wheelchair, then the children would feel sorry for her and treat her better. However, Tanya moved on crutches, and there was a cast on her leg. Outwardly, she looked ordinary, so her peers did not understand how serious her illness was. Tanya tried to carefully hide her illness. 

“If a child is faced with bullying, he needs to be “pulled out” of this situation,” Anton Anpilov believes. “You don’t need to make soldiers out of children, you don’t need to force them to endure. Also, do not «pull» the child to school against his will. Nobody needs the experience of bullying, it is of no use to either a child or an adult. 

When a child becomes a victim of bullying, first of all, his parents should not ignore the situation. It is necessary to immediately take the child to a psychologist, and also to take him away from the team where he encountered bullying. At the same time, in no case should you show negative emotions, scream, cry, tell the child: «You did not cope.» It is imperative to convey to the child that this is not his fault.

My home is no longer my castle

Many of Natalya’s acquaintances tried to send their children with disabilities to school. “They were enough for a couple of months, because the child cannot just be taken to school and go about his business — he must be taken to the offices, accompanied to the toilet, monitor his condition. No wonder parents prefer homeschooling. Also, many choose homeschooling due to the non-inclusion of the child in the educational process: there is no accessible environment, toilets equipped for the disabled. Not every parent can handle it.»

Another important reason why parents prefer to leave children with disabilities at home is their desire to protect children from the «cruel» reality, from «bad» people. “You can’t save a child from the real world,” says Anton Anpilov. “He has to know life himself and adapt to it. We can strengthen the child, prepare him — for this we need to call a spade a spade, work through the worst scenarios, speak honestly and frankly with him.

No need to tell him fairy tales about his health characteristics, for example, tell the boy that only real princes move in wheelchairs. Lies will sooner or later be revealed, and the child will no longer trust his parents.

The psychologist believes that it is better to teach the child on positive examples, to tell him about famous people with disabilities who have achieved success and recognition.

With regard to Tanya, Natalia always tried to adhere to two principles: openness and tact. Natalya spoke with her daughter on complex topics, and they never had any difficulties in communicating.

Like almost any parent, Natalya faced Tanya’s transitional age, when she committed rash acts. Natalya believes that in such situations, parents need to keep their emotions to themselves and do nothing, not interfere with the child.

“When the storm has passed, much more can be achieved through frank conversations and case studies. But it is necessary to speak not from the position of a dictator, but to offer help, to find out the reason why the child does this, ”she is sure.

Îro

Now Tanya is graduating from Saratov State University and getting a profession as a linguist. “I study for “good” and “excellent” grades, I take part in the work of the student theater. I am also actively involved in other amateur theatre. I sing, I write stories. At the moment, I have three directions in which I can go after graduating from the university — work in my specialty, continuing my studies in a master’s program and entering a second higher education at a theater university. I understand that the third way is not as real as the first two, but I think it’s worth a try, ”says the girl. Natalia continues to develop in her profession. She and Tanya also continue to work in an animation studio created to help families with disabled children.

How a parent prepares a child with disabilities for school

The Spina Bifida Foundation supports adults and children with congenital spinal hernia. Recently, the foundation created the first Spina Bifida Institute in Russia, which provides online training for both professionals and parents with disabled children. For parents, a special universal course in psychology was developed, divided into several blocks.

The course raises such important topics as age-related crises, communication limitations and ways to overcome them, the phenomenon of unwanted behavior, games for different ages and needs of the child, the personal resource of parents, separation and symbiosis of parents and the child.

Also, the author of the course, a practicing psychologist of the Spina Bifida Foundation, Anton Anpilov, gives practical recommendations on how to deal with a disabled child before school, what to pay more attention to, how to choose the right school and overcome negative situations that arise during training. The project is implemented with the support of the Absolut-Help Charitable Foundation and the technical partner Med.Studio. 

You can sign up for the course at bike.

Text: Maria Shegay