Why is he so reconciled?
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People sometimes quarrel. It doesn’t always happen brightly, and maybe it can’t always be called quarrels, but quarrels happen to any couple, there’s no way without it. We are not telepaths, sometimes we don’t understand each other, sometimes we don’t understand correctly, we interpret incorrectly, we conjecture, twist and stuff like that. This is a natural part of our lives and should not be expected otherwise. It is only twenty-year-old naive young ladies who can think that life together is always soul to soul. In fact, even a very loving couple has disagreements and quarrels (and, with some desire, quarrels).
After quarrels, smart people reconcile. After a quarrel, you need to cool down, come up, start a conversation in a kind way, admit that you are wrong (usually both are wrong) and calmly discuss what happened, drawing the necessary conclusions for the future. Who suddenly categorically does not know how (and such, unfortunately, happen) is not our person. Never contact him.
Look, reconciliation is going on for everyone according to one scenario: someone comes first and offers to reconcile. How exactly he proposes is not important. It is important that someone takes the first step. Now: how can a person react to an offer to make peace? By and large, there are only two ways — to agree or refuse.
And if you came up and said, they say, let’s put up, and the person responded with joy — that’s good. If you approached, and the person continues to pout and / or demands special compensation from you, this is a reason to be wary. This is not always wrong, sometimes it is wrong to put up without conditions for the future, but most often it is right to make peace first, and then sort it out.
But the most important moment is different. If you approached, offered to put up and the person — attention! — he says that he was wrong, he also got excited, flared up in vain, went too far, got too wound up, squeezed, did not follow the words, and the like, then you can definitely deal with him further. But if a person — attention! — says that you are really to blame for everything, that you need to be more restrained, not get excited like that, watch your language, not talk nonsense, and so on, then you need to stay as far away from such a person as possible.
Why is that? A person who, at least in words, admits his participation in the creation of your quarrel, in principle understands that relationships are a matter of two. And that everything that happens in a relationship is also a matter of two. This is a man ripe for relationships. He may not yet know how to be in them, but he can already learn.
And a person who is sure that it is you who are to blame for the quarrel, who in no way, in no way recognizes his contribution to the quarrel (or any other quarrel), such a person is, in principle, not ready for a relationship. Not mature. You can hang out and have fun with him, but a serious relationship with him is contraindicated. With such a serious relationship will not work. Don’t hope.
Let’s summarize. You can build a relationship with a person if he recognizes his contribution to your disagreements. It is impossible (forbidden, senseless, stupid — substitute any word that is similar in meaning) to build relationships with a person if he blames only you for all disagreements.