Contents
Why is loneliness painful for some people and a comfort zone for others? I think many have heard more than once, from their acquaintances or friends, the following phrase: «I’m better off alone.» While others are depressed and do not find a place for themselves, they suffer and suffer. Why is this happening? Let’s try to figure it out.
Tenêtî û tenêtî
First of all, you need to separate 2 important factors. That loneliness and solitude are 2 different things. Any person who experiences loneliness suffers. This is a very difficult feeling for a person. And the one who says that it is better for him to be alone, in fact, does not experience this feeling, he just likes to retire, to be in silence, alone with himself. There are people who live alone and at the same time feel comfortable. These are self-sufficient people, with a stable psyche and normal self-esteem. But there are those who say that they are fine, but in fact they suffer. Why is this happening?
A person initially, from birth, needs attention, love, respect, care. These are some of the needs for belonging. And throughout life, these needs must be filled in order to feel comfortable. Remember the situation from childhood, parents bought something tasty, feelings of satisfaction, love, care, need immediately pop up. And if they didn’t buy, they didn’t pay attention, resentment, disappointment, not tenderness, loneliness.
For those who want to understand why it can be so bad alone, try to look deeper into your childhood, remember the moments, the brightest ones will always remain in your memory, albeit negative ones. Some, small moments in the life of a child are enough to damage the unprotected psyche. Parental quarrels, loss of loved ones, etc. As a rule, what is not received in childhood remains for life. There are people who suffer very much and, in addition to loneliness, experience abandonment, uselessness, longing, mental pain, etc. Often people try to treat these wounds with alcohol, pills and other preparations that help to get away from this painful condition, into another reality, at least for a while. But this is clearly not an option.
Çi bikin?
What to do to avoid this painful condition. No matter how trite it may sound, but it is necessary to make new acquaintances. Communication, meetings. It is necessary to have such people nearby with whom one could share one’s feelings and experiences. Fill your needs in a healthy, healthy way. Try to understand exactly what you are missing. What are you thinking about? Our thoughts are our desires, what we want to receive from life. Do not make excuses in your head, but just take it and do it. New job, new friends, or reconnecting with old acquaintances. Leave your comments on how you cope with loneliness. Thank you.