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Ji zaroktiya xwe de, em fêr dibin ku xwe wekî kesek nîşan bidin da ku beşdarî tîmê bibin, ji bo pejirandinê bistînin. Bi pejirandina hin şêwazên behrê, bêhiş an bi zanebûn em ji bo ewlehî û aramiyê hewl didin. Lê em ji dinyayê di bin maskek de vedişêrin, em xwe ji têkiliyên rast û hestên rastîn mehrûm dikin. Em çi maskeyan li xwe dikin ku rengên xwe yên rastîn veşêrin?
What are these masks? In essence, these are coping strategies — techniques that we use to cope with difficult situations in everyday communication. They protect us like armor, but can interfere with relationships with those closest to us. By becoming aware of the protections we are accustomed to using, we can begin to heal from past wounds and enjoy real intimacy with loved ones.
Dema ku stratejiyên têkoşînê bi qasî kesayetiyên me cihêreng in, li vir deh maskeyên herî gelemperî hene.
1. Kêl û bêxem
Bi hemû xuyabûna xwe, ev kes eşkere dike ku ew ê di her rewşê de aram bimîne. Di dema pevçûnan de an di nav kaosê de li ser pêlê siwar dibe, ew bi aramiya keşîşekî Tîbetî li we dinêre.
However, one of two things happens. His bottled up emotions sooner or later lead to a nervous breakdown. Or he periodically presses the valve and releases steam when no one is watching. A calm and unflappable boss might explode and yell at a cashier at a supermarket or send a scathing letter to a subordinate who made a minor mistake. But don’t worry — he still controls the situation in this case and knows who can be chosen for the role of switchman and who not.
2. Komedik
Humor is a brilliant defense mechanism. If you’re laughing, then you’re not crying anymore. Although sometimes it still looks very similar. Humor can prevent rapprochement, will not let you get too close and find out what’s on your mind.
Komedyen henekê xwe dike ku sohbet pir kûr û rast nebe, ji bo ku ji nîqaş û pevguhertina ramanan dûr bisekine. Ji ber ku nikare heta dawî li hevjîna xwe guhdarî bike maskeya komedyenê li xwe dike û bi henekî mijarê digre. Ji ber vê yekê dev ji pevçûnê berdide, lê pirsgirêkê çareser nake. Komedyenê ku ji ber her sedemê xwe dikene, nahêle kes zêde nêz bibe û bi hin awayan tenê dimîne.
3. Xwendekarê hêja yê herheyî
Some people become honors students not because of the love of fives and diplomas. For them, it’s a defense mechanism. If everything is done correctly, then their world will not shatter into pieces. Of course, there are pleasant moments in the life of an excellent student.
He gets his moment of glory and praise, but anxiety always remains his companion — the reverse side of this mask
In later life and relationships, the eternal excellent student always has a fear of error. In partnerships, his positive and penetrating qualities — perseverance, obsession with an idea — can sometimes work against him.
4. Şehîd-rizgar
Many people are familiar with people who burn at work, selflessly alone save the world and make any sacrifices for the sake of loved ones. On the one hand, they are able to connect families with their compassion, on the other hand, they can lose those who love them because of the constant stories about their victims. They do good — and immediately make a drama out of it.
Şehîd dixwaze cihê xwe di cîhanê de bigire û di wê baweriyê de ye ku tenê eger di jiyana kesekî de rola herî girîng bilîze dikare vê bike. Lê ev yek dihêle ku mirov li dora wî nerehetiyê bike û têkiliyê nerehet dike.
5. Deng
Her tîmek ku me neçar ma bixebite, di eslê xwe de pola pêncemîn a lîseyek di navberê de ye. Hewşa mektebê bi her cure bilûr, her cure û sîwan.
Their control methods can be very subtle. They use gentle manipulation to make you think like them, or aggressive onslaught to the point of brute force. Buller appears impenetrable, giving instructions to everyone and setting his own rules, but behind this mask lies insecurity and a passionate thirst for recognition.
Buller ewqasî hewceyê rêz û naskirinê ye ku ew amade ye ku bi her bihayê wan bigire, her sînoran bişkîne.
6. Evîndarê her tiştî kontrol bike
He needs to be sure that everything is in its place, that all notebooks are neatly wrapped in covers and pencils are sharpened. Like a mother hen, he doesn’t let anyone out of his sight and feels responsible for everyone around him — even if they don’t want to.
By controlling everything and everyone, such a person copes with his main fear of the unknown, uncertainty.
Ma hûn dixwazin fêr bibin ka kî di hawîrdora we de maskek freak a kontrolê li xwe dike? Ew ê xwe îsbat bike gava ku tiştek wekî ku wî plan kiriye xelet derkeve.
7. «Samoyed»
Suffering from the most chronic and advanced case of self-doubt, he unwittingly inspires the same attitude in others. This person is in a hurry to humiliate himself before someone else does. He believes, perhaps unconsciously, that in this way he will save himself from troubles and disappointments. He avoids any risk and at the same time — any relationship.
8. «A very nice person»
Ew amade ye ku her tiştî bike da ku erêkirina kesên li dora xwe bigire. Ger di hawîrdora we de hevkarek hebe ku bi berdewamî ji heval, pispor, rahêner şîretan bixwaze, wê hingê ew "mirovek pir xweş" e.
Nêrîn û nirxên wî bi gelemperî di heman rojê de, li gorî rewşê dişibin hev. Ev ji ber ku xwe-wêneya wî bi tevahî ji ramanên mirovên din pêk tê, û bêyî wan ew bi tenê xwe winda dike.
9. Bêdengî
Kesê li pişt vê maskê bi tenê ji xeletî û redkirinê pir ditirse. Ew tercîh dike ku tenêtiyê bikişîne ji xetereyê û tiştek ku kesek jê hez neke bike. Bêdeng e an jî hindik dibêje ji ber ku ditirse tiştekî xelet bibêje.
Mîna kamilparêz, zilamê li pişt maskeya bêdeng bawer dike ku her tiştê ku li vê dinyayê tê gotin û kirin divê bêkêmasî be. Tevî ku hemû cîhana li dora me bi hemû xuyabûna xwe berevajî vê yekê îspat dike.
10. Partîya herheyî
He has a lot of acquaintances, the calendar is filled to overflowing with invitations to social events. Perhaps his life lacks meaning, perhaps he fills his days to overflowing with parties and events so that there is no time to think about it. Or is everything simpler, and his only talent is small talk?
Çavkanî: psychcentral.com