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Emotions spread like a virus, and the mood of those around us can have a dramatic effect on us. The evolutionary background and interesting mechanisms of this phenomenon are being studied by Stephen Stosny, a family therapist and author of a series of books on relationships.
Each of us intuitively understands the meaning of expressions such as «social mood» or «excitement in the air.» But where? “These are metaphors that have no literal meaning. Nevertheless, we understand their significance very well, because we intuitively realize what the infection of emotions is, ”says family therapist Stephen Stosny.
The principle of emotion contagion suggests that the feelings of two or more people are combined and transmitted from person to person in large groups. We tend to think of it as an internal process, but emotions can be more contagious than any known virus, and can subconsciously be transmitted to everyone in the vicinity.
In a crowd of strangers, «emotional infection» makes us feel the same as the rest of the group.
Most have the opportunity to observe how we are affected by the emotional states of family members. For example, it is almost impossible to be happy when others are depressed. However, it is interesting that the contagion of emotions works even when there is no connection between people. For example, in a crowd of strangers, «emotional infection» makes us feel the same as the rest of the group.
Experiments show that we are more impatient at a bus stop if the people around us are also impatient. But if they put up with the fact that the bus is late, then we will wait quietly. «Electricity in the air» gets us excited at a sporting event or rally, even if we weren’t particularly involved initially and just went for the company.
Evolutionary Necessity
In order to understand the significance of emotion contagion, Stephen Stosny suggests considering its benefit to population survival. Sharing «group feelings» gives us plenty of eyes, ears, and noses to watch for danger and find an opportunity to escape.
Therefore, this is typical for all groups of social animals: packs, herds, prides, tribes. When one member of the group feels threatened, becomes aggressive, fearful, or alert, others instantly pick up this state.
When we see the fear or suffering of another person in the group, we may feel the same. If we don’t consciously resist, happy people at the party make us happy, caring people make us care, and bored people make us tired. We avoid those who carry the «load on their shoulders» and those who confuse or make us anxious.
Emotional background determines consciousness
Like everything that affects the emotional state, such an “infection” largely determines our thinking. Opinion researchers know that they will get one set of answers to questions they ask in focus groups and another when they ask the same questions to each participant privately.
And it’s not that people lie when they’re together, or that they change their minds when they’re alone. Due to the influence of emotions, they may have different views on the same subject, depending on the environment in which they are at the time of the survey.
Emotional contagion manifests itself in solidarity parades and protest marches, in the worst cases, in “crowd justice”
The contagion principle also takes into account «groupthink». People tend to obey the majority in a meeting or act collectively, even against their own opinions. For example, the risky or aggressive behavior of teenage gangs is manifested in the fact that a common emotional «infection» encourages each child to go beyond their personal inhibitions, and sometimes far beyond them, which results in dangerous, violent or criminal behavior.
Emotional contagion manifests itself in solidarity parades and protest marches, in the worst cases, in «mob justice», lynchings, riots and looting. On a less dramatic but no less visible level, this gives us ever-changing fashions, cultural quirks, and standards of political correctness.
Negative emotions are more contagious
“Have you ever wondered why we are more likely to focus on what causes negative emotions than on good ones? Stosny asks. — I’m not talking about pessimistic and toxic people who are constantly looking for an opportunity to find a drop of tar in a barrel of honey. But after all, everyone gives the negative a disproportionate weight. How long do you personally think about positive experiences versus negative ones? What does your mind spend more time and energy on?
Negative emotions get prioritized processing in the brain as they are more important for quick survival. They give us an instant adrenaline rush, which is needed, for example, to jump away from a snake and repel an attack of saber-toothed tigers. And we pay for it with the opportunity to once again notice the beauty of the world around us.
The «negative bias» determines why a loss hurts so much more than a gain. Eating delicious food is nice, but in most cases it is incomparable to the annoyance of a missed meal. If you find $10, the excitement will last for a day or so, and losing $000 can ruin your mood for a month or more.
Positive emotions for a better life
Ironically, positive emotions are more important for long-term well-being. We have chances to live longer, healthier and happier if we experience them much more often than negative ones. Life becomes better for those who are able to appreciate the beauty of the hilly meadow and the sun shining on the leaves of the trees…provided they can also spot the snake in the grass. We must be able to survive at the right moments in order to continue to appreciate the world around us.
It is also important to understand that any defensive and aggressive states, such as indignation, spread mercilessly from person to person. If someone comes to work with a grudge, then by lunchtime everyone around him is already offended. Aggressive drivers make other drivers the same. A hostile teen ruins a family dinner, and an impatient spouse makes watching TV stressful and frustrating.
Conscious choice
If we are next to a resentful, angry, sarcastic, narcissistic, vengeful person, then we will probably feel about the same as he does. And in order not to become the same, you need to make an effort and involve the inner Adult.
In principle, this is not surprising. What is more important is that, having become infected with these emotions, we are very likely to react negatively to the next person we meet. “If your well-being and emotional state depend on other people, you will lose control over yourself and the situation and, therefore, will behave more impulsively. You will become a reactaholic, and your life experience will be determined by your response to the “emotional pollution” of the environment,” warns Stosny.
But by learning to build healthy emotional boundaries and showing conscious attention to our state and situation, we can maintain stability and control over life.
About the author: Steven Stosny is a psychologist, family therapist, teacher at the University of Maryland (USA), author of several books, including the co-author of the Russian-translated book “Honey, we need to talk about our relationship … How to do it without a fight” (Sofia, 2008).