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Separated parents: organize several Christmases!
After a conflictual separation, very often custody dates are established by a judge. Your child may then be with your ex-partner on Christmas week. For Jacques Biolley, it is important to do not victimize yourself, to accept the situation. Above all, he advises parents to to be inventive. Indeed, nothing prevents parents from celebrate Christmas several times. The 22 or 23 for example. Not to mention that “the date of December 25 is a bit arbitrary, everyone is free to make Christmas in their own way”, indicates the specialist.
Valuing the gifts of the other parent
When parents are di pevçûnê de, gifts can be “real time bombs”, explains Jacques Biolley. The toys received are sometimes considered as coming from “the opposing party”, and are used to devalue the other parent. “This can lead to real wars that are deeply harmful to the child. The latter will find it difficult to say: “I have received such and such a gift” if he knows that it may displease his father or his mother “. For the specialist, it is essential to value gifts that come from the other parent, without denigrating him. If you disagree, it is best totalk about it between adults, but in no case in front of the child.
What Christmas for blended families?
Invite his new spouse or his new companion to celebrate Christmas, with his children, is not a decision to be taken lightly. For Jacques Biolley, this type of initiative requires that the presentations have been made. li jor. As he puts it, “Parents have to do things step by step, for months on end. If the child has already seen his mother-in-law or his father-in-law on several occasions, that he also knows his family, then why not. If all goes well, it can be beneficial and rewarding for him. ”
On the other hand, if all these stages have not been crossed, celebrating the holidays with the one who shares the life of his father or his mother can be rêgir for the child. “Sometimes you have to put your own desires aside”, underlines Jacques Biolley. “This is how we increase the chances of acceptance at the little one ”. Last thing to remember: so that the child is not confronted with a loyalty problem with respect to his father or mother, it is essential that parents and new companions do not criticize each other. They should keep in mind that children have great adaptability, “Provided there are no distant wars between adults.” “