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“I immediately loved these moments when I fed him”
Breastfeeding was obvious to me! Also, when Nathan was born, the question did not arise, especially since I had a lot of milk very quickly. Right away, I loved those times when I fed him and magical things were happening between him and me. They were bubbles of happiness where nothing existed… I felt an intense well-being and I didn’t want anyone to disturb me in my tete-a-tete with my baby. I am lucky that my husband understood what I was going through and did not feel left out.
As a teacher, I had made myself available. The first few months, my relatives approved of my choice. But I felt things were going wrong when my son was about 6 months old. I heard thoughts like, “It must be tiring to feed a baby as big and beefy as Nathan”, or “You are giving him bad habits.” One day, my mother put her foot in it: “You will exhaust yourself feeding him for so long. You should wean him ”. It may have started with a good intention, but I really did not experience this intrusion. I was going to get angry when José defused the situation. Kindly, he replied that it was a chance for our child to benefit from my milk for a long time. José has always supported me and it showed me How long we are on the same page.
One day a friend of mine arrived when I was breastfeeding. She couldn’t help but tell me that I was going to damage my chest. I told her that was the least of my worries, but she insisted heavily … The more time passed, the more I felt that I was disturbing. When my son had his first teeth, everyone thought I was going to wean him. And when it didn’t, my mother remarked to me again: “But he’s going to hurt you. He will bite you! “. I managed to react with humor by telling her that she shouldn’t be worried, that I was not masochistic and that if Nathan hurt me, I would of course stop breastfeeding. In fact, when he had his first two teeth, there were just two marks around my nipple after I breastfed him. It moved me more than anything else!
“My husband was a very present father, he always supported me”
Despite everything, these negative reactions did not leave me unscathed and sometimes gave me the impression of not being “normal”. I couldn’t understand being judged so harshly as if I were a breastfeeding passionate. I never lectured to other women who did not want to breastfeed or did not do so for a very long time. I have never proselytized! Still, I still loved feeding my little guy, even though I had started to diversify his diet. Reluctantly, I must admit… I liked the idea that it was up to me! Maybe because I had a hard time getting pregnant and waited several years before I could be a mom.
My friends told me that I was fused with Nathan and that he would find it difficult to separate from me. Maybe they were right, but I also knew my husband was a very present dad and that balanced things out. What might have made me give up was the incident that took place when I was in the square with Nathan. He was about 9 months old. I was breastfeeding her without paying attention to anyone when all of a sudden, the elderly lady who had settled next to us, turned to me and said to me in an exaggerated manner: “Madam, a little decency. ! I was so stunned by these words that I got up with my little one and left the garden. I had tears in my eyes. Nathan was starting to cry … A little more, and this lady accused me of exhibitionism! This kind of reaction was irrelevant, especially since I was always very careful, I was super shy and discreet. I think it was the idea more than the sight of the breast that caused this hostility. I then gave up breastfeeding in public because I was afraid such incidents would happen again.
“When breastfeeding is prolonged, people can’t stand it anymore. It is surely of the order of the fantasy, the breast once again becoming an eroticized “object”. Even my friends were wondering about my intimate life… ”
“My friends called me ‘the mother wolf” “
I guessed that my friends were wondering about my intimate life … Through humor, they made me understand that my libido had undoubtedly soared and that I was no more than a “mother-wolf”, as one of them told me. … It is true that the first five months, sexuality was not my concern! I was experiencing new very strong feelings with my baby and did not need anything else. José had made a few attempts, but I could not meet his expectations. We talked a lot then: I explained to him where I was and he told me that things would pick up at our pace. I really have a golden husband! Above all, he needed to hear that I still loved him so much. Afterwards, he showed unfailing patience and gradually we got closer and started to make love again. Today, Nathan is 14 months old and he asks for less breast … I have less milk and I think that the weaning will be done by itself in some time. I’m already a little nostalgic for the time when heonly needed me to gain weight, to grow taller… But it’s already great that I can still give him the benefit of my milk. If I have a second, I will breastfeed her… but maybe not that long so that I don’t get so many negative reactions.
My husband having supported me through thick and thin, I love him even more – unlike those who thought that my close relationship with my son would disrupt our life as a couple. The only thing that would have made me doubt is that my husband does not adhere to my desire to breastfeed for a long time. This was not the case, perhaps because José is of Spanish origin, and for him it is natural for a mother to breastfeed for a long time. Thanks to the love we have for Nathan, he is a happy little boy to live, with parents who love each other deeply.