Nikos Aliagas: "Keça min ez kirim mêrekî din!"

Nikos Aliagas gives us his father’s confidences

The birth of Agathe, her daughter, now aged 2, is for the host of “The Voice” a thunderclap, a revelation. He confided in us his life as an exclusive father just before the release of his book. *

Through this book, are you making a real declaration of love for your daughter?

Nikos Aliagas : Yes, there is infinite love and the desire to tell him the shock that was for me his birth and fatherhood. It was lightning that fell on my head, an earthquake that made me reborn a second time. I became a father quite late, I am 45 years old and my daughter 2 years old. My friends all had children between 25 and 35 years old, I was caught in a career whirlwind, travel, lack of time, misunderstandings in my emotional life. But I don’t regret anything, at 45 I know why I chose to be a father, at 25 I wouldn’t have known. The greatest happiness of my life is watching my daughter live. I want to live for her, but not through her. I gave her life to better understand mine, not for myself, in a narcissistic way, but to be able to transmit to her what is important and essential to me. This is not a people book! I stop time, I analyze, I ask myself: “What has been given to me, what can I give back, what sources of inspiration will I give him for build your life, be happy? ”

Is your fatherhood a radical upheaval?

AT : The man that I am has changed completely. When you become a father, you no longer live for yourself, you realize that you have enormous responsibilities. I think the very moment I cut my daughter’s umbilical cord, if I had been asked to give my life so that she could live, I would have done so without a second of hesitation. It was new to me, his birth dispossessed me of my certainties. By cutting this cord, I also cut the one that existed between my mother and me, between my parents and me. I have matured. My fatherhood changed my outlook on my father. I had a tough, silent, severe father with his two boys, who worked a lot and didn’t have time to take care of me. He was different with his daughter. Today, he is ill and I have flashes where I see my father holding me in his arms when I was little.

What do you want to say to Agathe?

AT : I wrote this book to show him the way, to give him advice, to transmit to him the values ​​that I inherited from the Greek tradition, to tell him about our family history, to bequeath to him my heritage as the son of Greek immigrants. I evoke the important archetypes that have formed the basis of my identity. Not that of television, lights, media success, my real identity. I don’t want to lecture him, but simply give him the cultures that have shaped and still shape the man I have become. I throw a bottle into the sea for her future, for her to read later, I don’t know if as a teenager I’ll have the words to talk to her, maybe she won’t even want to m ‘to listen…

Does Nikos’ success rely on the ability to adapt to anything?

N. A. : For example, I talk to him about the Méthis, that is to say the ability to adapt to all situations. This goddess was the first wife of Zeus, she could transform at will. Zeus is prophesied that if Methis gives birth to a child, he will lose his power. To ward off this dire prophecy, Zeus asks Methis to transform into something very small, she does so and he eats her. But as Methis was already pregnant with Minerva, she comes out triumphantly from Zeus’ head! The “moral” of the Méthis legend is that you can adapt to anything if you are smart! This is the first essential message I want to send to my daughter. Methis has helped me a lot in my life.

To succeed, you have to be smart, what else?

AT : I tell him about Kairos, the god of time for oneself. There are always times in life when you have a date with your Kairos, your personal time. It comes within your reach from time to time and it’s up to you to grab it. I tell him the story of my mother who, at the age of 19, wrote to the White House. All her relatives told her it was rubbish and a month later my mother received a response from the President to her request. She followed the little personal voice that pushed her to try everything, to surpass herself, she had a date with her Kairos, and it worked. I want my daughter to know how to seize the right moments to get started, that she does not miss her Kairos.

Trusting your feeling is essential to make the right choices?

N. A. : Intuition is as important as reasoning. Intelligence is also what escapes us. When we have a deep conviction, when we intuitively feel that something is for us, we have to take the plunge and try everything, just so as not to have any regrets. Regrets only breed bitterness. I grew up in 17 m2 with my family, we were happy, we dared, we went there. When I agreed to host a TV show because I wanted to, I went, when all my friends were telling me not to. Cartesian logic and reasoning prevent it from spreading its wings. Even if we tell you it’s impossible, go for it! No matter the social success, I hope for my daughter that she too aligns with her deep desires, that she follows her personal time, that she provokes events, even if it means making a mistake.

You TV man, warn your daughter about megalomania. Is it real life?

AT : I talk to him about the Hybris, excessiveness, excess of pride, megalomania which leads human beings to their ruin. This is what lived Aristotle Onassis who believed himself invincible, who outraged the gods by always wanting more. We must never forget that everything will remain on this earth, that’s what my grandfather used to say. I want to make my daughter understand that if you forget who you are, where you come from, you get lost along the way, you upset the gods! Ambition is a good thing if you know how to stay in your place. You can do a magnificent, brilliant job, but don’t transgress unwritten laws, invisible codes of respect for others. When I started making money, I told my mom, I’m going to buy myself this, I’m going to do that! She did not like it at all, and when I saw her reaction, I said to myself: “You are making a mistake, you are taking the wrong path, your values!” It took me a while to figure it out, but I got it right.

Isn’t it important to forget your Greek roots?

N. A. : I evoke Nostos, uprooting, the pain of being far from home, the feeling of being a stranger all the time with his suitcase in his hand. It can become a force. When I’m live, when I’m nervous, just before getting on the set, I close my eyes and I’m in the middle of the cypresses, I smell the basil, I hear the cicadas, I contemplate the intense blue from the sea. I appeal to this memory, to what is part of me and that soothes me, I am serene to face the show. I hope my daughter can do the same and build on her roots.

Did you feel like a father even before Agathe was born?

N. A. : During the pregnancy, I was there, I attended the childbirth preparation sessions with her mother, we breathed together. When we found out on the ultrasound that we were expecting a girl, I was blown away, I wondered how I was going to handle it. For a man, it’s strange, when his daughter is born, it’s the first naked woman he looks without any desire.

Did you want to attend the birth?

N. A : I attended the birth, I wanted to be next to my wife to share this unique moment. I was coming home from filming, it was 4 am, I had worked three nights, I was exhausted, when my wife said to me: “it’s time!” We rush to the maternity ward. Looking at my schedule, I realize that I have an interview with Celine Dion, I meet my mother and my sister in the hallway asking me where I’m going. I explain to them that I have to leave because I have a professional meeting and they quickly set the record straight: “Are you taking the risk of letting your wife give birth alone because you have an interview?” They helped me realize where the priorities are. While my daughter was born, I prayed to Saint Agatha and Artemis, the goddess who accompanied women who gave birth to their children. I want my daughter to look like her, to be whole, uncompromising, beautiful, sometimes a little harsh but straight! Fatherhood softens a man, it makes him fragile. I’m worried about my daughter, for later. Becoming Agathe’s father changed my outlook on women. Every time I meet one, I think she has a father, that she is the little princess in her daddy’s eyes and that you have to behave like a prince with her.

*“What I would like to tell you”, NIL éditions. 18 € approx. Released on October 27