Each child is unique, inimitable, each is different from the others. And yet, some children are much more alike than others. They prefer the same games, they have similar hobbies, a similar attitude to order, sports, homework, they react in approximately the same way to stress, joy or a quarrel. The fact that children have a similar or very different type of behavior does not depend on age or degree of relationship, but on the type of personality.
There are four main types:
- impressionable, sensitive nature;
- sensible, obligatory child;
- emotional adventurous type;
- strategic planner
By itself, each type is logical and is a completely normal phenomenon. School psychologist Christina Kanial-Urban developed this child typology during her many years of practice.
At the same time, it should be borne in mind that these types practically do not occur in their pure form. Sometimes these are mixed forms (in particular, of a sensitive nature and an obligatory child), but usually there is a noticeable predominance of one of the types. It is worth finding out which group your own child belongs to.
This will help to better assess your child, his abilities, his weaknesses and take them into account with greater sensitivity.
For a child, the worst thing is if his upbringing contradicts his personality type, because in this way he, as it were, receives a message: the fact that you are like this is not normal. This confuses the child and can even lead to illness. On the contrary, parenting according to personality type will help the child develop optimally, strengthen his strengths, gain a sense of confidence and security. This is especially important when there are big and small crises: problems with friends, at school, separation from parents, loss of a loved one.
We will describe the four personality types in their main manifestations and indicate how best to deal with a child of the corresponding type.
xwezaya hesas
What is typical
This is a sociable child, sensitive, with developed intuition. He needs closeness with other people, with family, with peers. He wants to communicate closely with them, take care of others, give them gifts. And know more about them. What kind of woman was my great-grandmother? How did my grandfather live when he was a little boy?
Children belonging to this type are delighted with fairy tales and different stories, so they are wonderful listeners and good storytellers. Usually they start talking early, they are very capable in teaching foreign languages. In role-playing games, they are completely immersed in their role. The same applies to the fantasy world. They should not be left alone in front of the TV: they identify themselves with the characters so much that in the dramatic moments of the action they need support. Children of this type really want to be loved and appreciated, they constantly need confirmation that they are something special, valuable.
When it gets hard
It is difficult for a sensitive nature to draw a line between I and YOU. They are “merging”, literally flowing into a loved one. This puts them in danger of abandoning their own self and completely dissolving into the personality of another — because they consider good what the person they love considers good. Because of this, they easily forget about their own needs. In families that attach great importance to sports and other active activities, a child of a sensitive nature often feels helpless. In this case, he needs a like-minded adult who shares his inclinations.
How does he react to trouble?
He is even more than usual looking for intimacy with others, literally clinging to them. Some react with emotional outbursts, crying and sobbing. Others withdraw into themselves, suffer in silence. Many are even more immersed in the world of their fantasies.
The right parenting style
On weekdays and in crises: a sensitive nature needs a person (one of the parents, grandfather or grandmother) who would give space and food to his imagination, his characteristic qualities. I would tell him fairy tales, draw, devote to the history of the family.
Such a child needs recognition of his talents, his aesthetic sense (beautiful clothes!) and time for daydreaming. To ridicule a visionary means to inflict a deep offense on him.
Usually such children feel good in schools that pay special attention to the development of the creative abilities of students. They need comfort, reassurance, and as much intimacy as possible. Especially in crisis situations.
If this heightened need for intimacy is not met, the crisis intensifies. Sensitive individual praise is also important (“How wonderful you did it!”). Problem-solving stories in which a child of the same age is coping with a similar difficulty also help.
adventurous child
What is typical
He often does not have enough time, because the world is so exciting, full of adventures, tests of courage. Adventurous children need activity — almost around the clock.
They are passionate, sociable natures, knowing the world with all their senses. They ideally cope with troubles, are not afraid to take risks, and are willing to experiment. What ceased to interest them, they simply give up.
No wonder their children’s room is often chaotic. There, next to a computer game, any rubbish can lie.
They have a strong need for movement, they eat with appetite, openly show their emotions. Their problems are: time (often late), money (they don’t know how to handle it) and school. They are bored at school, so they interfere with classes and often act as the class clown. Homework is either not done or done superficially.
When it gets hard
In a family that places great value on order and control, the adventurous child has a hard time because he always causes displeasure. Therefore, such a child suffers most from our school system.
How does he react to trouble?
Even more worry. The desire for movement turns into incessant activity, the need for stimuli into overexcitation, the diversity of interests into impulsiveness. In difficult situations, such children often lose their sense of self-preservation, which is so important for them, and at the slightest disappointment they fall into a violent rage. Ultimately, such a child may experience difficulties in communicating with children).
The right parenting style
To give free rein to certain limits is an elementary requirement in relation to the adventurous type. Binding rules and firm guidance are essential, as is peer contact (even if the adventurous self-type child seeks independence). In the event of problems at school, one should not prohibit, for example, sports activities, but pay more attention to the regime and order. Such children need someone who would clean the room with them, organize a workplace, show them. how to give an acceptable outlet to fits of rage — for example, using a punching bag for training a boxer, active physical exercises
zarokê jîr
What is typical
Usually very intelligent and always acting thoughtfully — the type of intellectual child. He always asks additional questions, wants to know everything thoroughly, seeks to understand the world in order to feel confident.
Any group activities and violent games as part of a team are usually not very attractive for him, he prefers to communicate with a friend, girlfriend. Or with a computer. His room is chaotic at first glance, but unlike the adventurous type, he immediately finds what he needs because he has his own order.
Smart children very early begin to behave like adults, sometimes they are intelligent beyond their years. They like to participate in a measured conversation and therefore they willingly join adults. They are result-oriented and pursue their own goals. They make high demands on themselves, strive to achieve more.
When it gets hard
A smart child does not know the art of pleasing, so he often looks arrogant, cold, easily becomes an outsider. For all that, this is an extremely vulnerable child.
How does he react to trouble?
Usually the highest rule in children of this type is to remain calm. In difficult periods, they become even more reasonable, do not give vent to emotions. It is significant that, for example, after the divorce of their parents, such children still behave well, but their calmness is only feigned, but emotionally they impoverish themselves. As a result, they lose contact with themselves and their loved ones. Feeling some kind of threat to themselves, smart children react to it — quite unexpectedly for others — extremely emotionally, up to fits of rage. With failures, for example at school, they are easily lost, trying to achieve even greater perfection, which can turn into an obsessive state.
The right parenting style
The older they get, the less you can count on authority, because they consider themselves to be the decisive authority. Whoever wants them to do something needs to convince them. They are guided only by understanding. In case of failure at school, such a child urgently needs support.
It is important to emphasize his abilities again and again, to reinforce his self-confidence — and to explain to him that mistakes are also important, that without them it would be impossible to move forward. In case of emotional difficulties, parents can gently support the child by starting a conversation about their own feelings. For example: “I am very upset about this and I think that you are experiencing the same thing.” Most likely, he will look away, twisting his mouth. but that’s enough. No greater display of sadness should be expected from him.
Mandatory child
What is typical
He has mastered the art of being helpful. The feeling of belonging to the family is also the highest value. Such children strive to achieve greater intimacy by doing (unlike the type of sensitive nature) something meaningful, practical, willingly help around the house, take on certain responsibilities (for example, set the table), but like to do something more. with mother or father.
Terribly worried if they are not praised. They adapt well to the school system with its rules, because they have no problems with discipline, diligence, order. Difficulties arise when, in their free time, they have to choose their own occupation. These are realistic-minded children capable of achieving outstanding results. They love family holidays, they are interested in how relatives behave.
When it gets hard
Such a child is inclined uncritically, without proper reflection, to adopt the rules and opinions of other people. Anyone who expects independence from him too early, thereby sets an impossible task for him. In families without a clear daily routine, without a constant meal time, stable rituals, such a child feels helpless, he needs a clear order.
How does he react to trouble?
Tries to be even more obedient. The obligatory child behaves incredibly well, fulfilling all real or even imaginary demands out of fear. He clings to rituals, which can bring him to obsessive states, but can also threaten: “If I can’t turn on the computer, I’ll go to my dad!”
The right parenting style
The obligate child especially needs feedback, praise, validation of his abilities — and constant questions about what he would like. This is especially necessary during difficult times. It is good to offer him various options — to choose from. Parents should give him more guidance on how to act in life. Do not impose excessive demands on him in relation to independence. It is reasonable if he does his homework in parts and in the way the teacher explained. Where there is a large proportion of free activities, such a child usually feels insecure.
This system of typology of the personality of preschool children can be represented by a scheme that is used for the typology of the personality of adults:
Vîdyo ji Yana Shchastya: hevpeyvîn bi profesorê psîkolojiyê NI Kozlov
Mijarên axaftinê: Ji bo ku hûn bi serfirazî bizewicin hûn hewce ne ku jinek çawa bin? Mêr çend caran dizewicin? Çima ewqas hindik mêrên normal hene? Childfree. Parenting. evîn çi ye? Çîrokek ku çêtir nabe. Ji bo fersendê ku nêzîkî jineke bedew be.